Having overly critical parents can have a huge impact on your mental health. It can cause feelings of anxiety, depression, and a lack of self-confidence. It can also make it difficult to trust yourself or to take risks. In this blog post, we will explore how having overly critical parents affects your mental health, and what can be done to help manage the situation.
Why were your parents so critical?
The answer to this question can vary from person to person and from family to family. In some cases, it might be due to a lack of parental support or guidance growing up, leading to an authoritarian parenting style. In other cases, it could be because of mental health issues, including depression or anxiety, that they were struggling with.
Regardless of the cause, it’s important to recognize that criticism can lead to feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and even depression.
How having critical parents impacted your mental health as a child
Having overly critical parents as a child can have a profound effect on your mental health. As children, we rely heavily on our parents for love, guidance and security, and if we don’t receive that from them, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
When we hear criticism from our parents all the time, it can cause us to doubt our decisions, be reluctant to try new things, and feel like our best is never enough. All of these feelings can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. In fact, a recent study conducted in 2018 not only shows an increased risk for anxiety and depression for children with overly critical parents (1), but also that these kids are less responsive to emotional facial expressions.
Why? Researchers hypothesize that these children may be avoiding paying attention to faces that express any type of emotion as a protective mechanism (2).
What to do with an overly critical internal narrative as an adult
So you grew up with an overly critical parent, and it affected you! Now what?
If you find yourself living with an internal voice that constantly berates and critiques your behavior, you may need to seek help in order to learn how to manage and re-frame the way you view yourself. Consider talking to a therapist in Denver, who can provide guidance on how to better manage this internal dialogue. Therapy in Denver can help you to identify and address negative beliefs about yourself, challenge irrational thinking, and learn how to practice self-compassion. With professional help, you can reframe your thoughts and begin to look at yourself with greater acceptance and understanding.
Should I fix the relationship I have with my parents?
Even if you attend counseling sessions, you may find yourself still wondering if you should mend the relationship and stress between you and your overly critical parents.
It can be difficult to decide whether you should attempt to repair a strained relationship with your parents. In many cases, the damage can be too deep for reconciliation. But if you think it's possible, then therapy in Denver can help.
If you decide to try and fix your relationship with your parents, remember that it may take some time to rebuild trust and bridge any communication gaps. It's important to practice patience and compassion as you work towards understanding each other. Also remember that it's okay to set boundaries if certain topics are too difficult to talk about or if your parents say something that upsets you.
Ultimately, the decision to fix your relationship with your parents is a personal one. Therapy in Denver can help make the process easier and less daunting if you decide to take this step.
How to prevent becoming an overly critical parent or partner yourself
It is important to recognize that overly critical parents often have underlying issues and insecurities that cause them to be overly critical of their children. It can be difficult to address this issue head on, but it is important to keep in mind that being an overly critical parent or partner yourself can have long-term consequences for both you and your family.
The first step to preventing this behavior is to become aware of the signs that you may be too critical.
Do you find yourself getting overly emotional when your children or partner make mistakes or do something differently than you would?
Do you have trouble allowing your children or partner to make decisions or take responsibility?
Do you find yourself expecting perfection and feeling disappointed when it isn’t met?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you may be too critical.
Getting Started with Counseling in Denver
Connected Brain Counseling offers counseling for adults with symptoms of trauma. Having an overly critical parent as a child is often received by the brain as traumatic. We are here and ready to help. Learn more about our methods of helping the children of overly critical parents in Denver with Counseling today.